Today is called "multiple feeling changing".
What do you think about "Dream"? Is dream will affect your day? Do you believe you'll dream of what you'd did? Is dreaming is your stress relief way? Do you believe what happened in your dream is totally opposite of your life? What do you think about dream?
You know what? I think dream is a Killer! It stab a knife in my back, while I pull out that knife, it stab me another knife, a sharper one. This morning I dreamed of death, I saw one of my friend die in an accident, who is really died in accident months ago. I don't know if I mistaken or not, I saw her last tear just before she dead. I cant pull her back! Why can't I?! I wish I could pulled her back before the devil finds out she's dead, lying under the enormous vehicle.
I can feel my tears sliding down my face, it hurts so, so much. I opened my eyes, just realized I'm lying on my bed, I thought I'm sweating, but my face really covered by tears. I can't even wake myself up, it so painful. I fall asleep again. (What?!)
How many sad dream supposed to pop out in a single day? Is it make sense if your dream giving you double Sad Attack and you ain't got any shield to defense? Next I'm dreamed of I'm singing (yeah, I'm singing, I know my singing sucks, but I'm really dreamed of I sang). A person in my dream told me, if you are a great singer, didn't means you know how to sing a song. 1st you need to know what's the song means, every song is a story, you need to understand every single sentences and word, 2nd you need to know how to tell the story, 3rd you need to sing with your heart, with your life. Then I start singing, I focus on the images of me and my friend who died in the accident, no matter is happy or sad, I'd just try to grab everything back. I started crying again, everyone who listening the song also started crying (I really got no idea what they cry for, is it too bad or too touching? But I kinda sad on the moment so I didn't really care much). I woke up the 2nd time, again my face is covered with tears.
Arghhhhhhh! FUCK! I know you sure think that 2nd dream is kinda lame, can't make any fucking sense and totally ruin the mood.
Suppose to stop on the previous phrase, but I think should continue it towards my whole day. Today planning is to go shopping and buy a shoe to replace my..... don't know what name should I called it (people called it Ham Choi, salty vege). The other plan is wanted to ask my ex-gf who working in the shopping complex to have a meal or chat or something la! (such a stupid idea, STUPID!!!)
Walk...bus...walk...Yeah! reach shopping complex. Walk...see...walk...buy...walk...buy... At last, I bought a sweater, a pair of shoe, and a belt. Yes, is the time to go to ask her out, she said not free whole day, then I asked "how bout in these few days?" she said these few days also not free. I asked "like forever?" She said "I think I not free." WHOA!! want like this mer... then I say goodbye then walk towards the bus station. I like fuck it, my mood is so fucked up on that moment, then suddenly I saw 2 of my friend from high school. I never saw them since before I graduate, is like 4 years ago. This 2 girl really make my day, 3 of us like suddenly damn many things to talk about, actually I'm not really close to them last time but we stand at the spot where we met and chat for a solid hour, we are so exciting. After that, we had a dinner together, totally change of our plan, those girl suppose to shopping, I suppose to go home and cry, but, you know? I felt like god came down and give me this present, I've never had a wonderful conversation for like..... 2years already. It's like kinda relief. Because I live in a very hollow situation for more than 2 years, totally no taste. But, things changes.
Today I realize friends is like the most glorious thing ever, even someone who not so close to you before, but they still lit up my world in this very fucked up moment. Sometimes people got in a relationship already, they kinda avoid or forget friends, don't do that! They are always with you, they also never leave, no matter where you are, what you did, who you kill, friends are always with us!!
Conclusion, actually if you are reading this, I insist that you no need to read whatever after I woke up. Is all nonsense. Actually I just wanted to talk about dream. Yeah, Idiot!
Listening to: Lala's singing in Million Star
Reading: Always......what I wrote
Watching: Million Star
Drinking: Liquid with Oxygen